So, it's Lent. I feel as though many people understand the custom of Lent, but they don't understand the motivation. Funny how that's true about more joyful things, like Christmas and Easter and oh yeah, weddings.
I've been trying very hard to think of what to give up for Lent this year. I can't remember what I gave up last year, but I think it was caffeine. The year before, it was meat. I was going to give up chocolate this year, but you know what? I've decided to go a different way this time.
I'm giving up holding grudges. I feel so much heavier when I'm plagued with lingering resentment. We are simply different people, and there's no legitimate way to compare us.
My mom just told me that it's looking like I won't be able to audition for Disney World over spring break. And I really doubt I'll have another chance before summer, when I need to have a job, and then Disney World is not likely, not at all. Ugh. I know that it's stupid to be upset about it, but I really had my heart set on it, and I don't expect to get it on the first try. I think I have a shot, I think I have potential, and I just have a feeling that I'll get fairly far into the trials. If I get cut right away, at least I tried.
I do intend to pursue what I want, or what I think I want. I firmly believe in questioning everything and achieving happiness. I believe it's essential.
I suspect that I'm not a good person. Thank goodness for Lent: I hope it will help me to improve.
Labels for this post: Lent, lifted, pursuit
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You are too a good person - a lot better than most.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm really sorry to hear you might not be auditioning. I know you were really looking forward to it. God will supply something for you, though. You have a lot of talent and that won't go to waste!
Have fun at CCVMEA this weekend - I wish I could come!
Oh no, Jenni! I'm so sorry! I know how much you wanted to do your audition, that's really terrible. But maybe you'll get a chance next year, or maybe after you graduate?
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better, you'll always be a Disney princess to me. I know that's like the cheesiest thing I've ever said, but it's completely true.
Also, you strive to be a good person. You see where you go wrong, and you try to make it right. When you slip up, you don't make excuses, you see your actions for what they are and then you try to correct them. That, to me, is the definition of a good person. I also think you tend to hold yourself to a higher moral standard than most people -- if the world judged people as harshly as you judge yourself, there would be very few "good people" in this world.
Ryan loves you!
Agreed with the other two--you're beautiful. We're all broken and messy...that's the beauty of Lent and God. :) He likes a challenge, and I'd say most of us give him all he can handle.
ReplyDeleteOr she. You know.
You're you. You're totally justified in feeling the way you do, but it speaks to your character that you are choosing to go against that and move forward with your life. GOOD FOR YOU! This is evidence of your beauty, your true inner beauty...it's a little bit of God shining through in you, peeking out from behind the crap and saying "Hey, you're made in my image, and I love you--a lot." Maybe that means God has pretty hair and a great sense of style...
The point is--live simply. And accept yourself for the drop-dead gorgeous person you are, in every way possible.
Love ya!! ;)