Bic Pens

Every time I see the word "Pens" I automatically think it says "penis". I know I know I know.

In case anyone who has actually spoken to me before (or who can't read) doesn't know, I write a lot. I pretty much constantly write little phrases and quotations said by other people. I take notes and write in my spiky, fluid script that the Ewe tribe of Africa is one of the few tribes to record the Agbekor war dance. You know.
So anyway, I write a lot. And I have to say, even as a musician, I love pens. Especially Bic pens with black ink and opaque bodies. I call them "writing pens". Yes, I know it's redundant, but things like this happen all the time.
Example: I have a lot of shoes. Over twenty pairs at least (just at school), and yet I distinguish between them by describing the actions completed within them. "Running shoes" comes to mind.
So does "sex kitten". Like I said.

I've made a new policy not to trust any woman holding a poodle. I'm not really sure why, but poodles just scream "pretentious bourgeoisie". Actually, how about "bitcheoisie"?
I think I like that.

Jenni Schweitzer likes this. She also likes nice guys and they certainly don't finish last.

Labels for this post: redundant, scatterbrained, affection

Welcome to Longwood Middle

Hello everyone,

Grow up.  

It's fun, I promise.

Labels for this post: you, heard, me

Costumes

As you probably could have guessed without any of my help, I love costumes. But I'm going to tell you anyway. I love costumes. I used to wear them all the time when I was little, to everything except church. My parents never let me, but I don't think God would mind if I showed up in my little fairy wings.

I have many suspicions about how God really is, one of them being that Jesus would be a good husband. I don't really like marriage on principle, but I think maybe marrying Jesus would be acceptable. He would always know what was bothering you, how to help, what you needed, etc.
But I bet his inhuman perfection would be annoying after awhile.

Personally, my spouse criteria (hmmm potential essay title) would probably be something like
-Mow the lawn
-Open this jar
-Hold this

And refilling the ice tray. I can't explain why, but I fucking hate it.

Okay, time to go to church.

Labels for this post: fairy wings, wedding rings, holding things

The Longwood Look

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.surveymonkey.com%2Fs.aspx%3Fsm%3DMjMLkWmPRGV2bBHGiAyaVA_3d_3d&h=2f2cbb3bda5b95077155dd5bbe044480

Please take this survey! It's for very important research that will save millions of baby seals.

By making them into shoes!
Tricked you.

Just kidding.
But seriously, check it out, you guys. You guys.

Labels for this post: check, it, out!

Beer Pressure

Two brief stories about my brother, Will. Fortunately, they're completely true. Unfortunately, I don't write well enough to describe them to their fullest potential. That's why I'm taking half a "victory lap" next year to learn how to write better.
(Intentional)

Every time I try to convince Will to taste beer or wine, he always refuses, so of course I just bully him more. Anyway, the last time I did, he looked me right in the face and he said, "Beer pressure."
He's right, of course.

The other day, I called my brother to wish him a happy birthday.
"Happy Birthday, Will!"
"Oh."
"Will, what do you say when someone says 'Happy Birthday'?"
"To you?"

Will just turned 18.
I am 200 years old.


Labels for this post: silly, growing up, old

Appreciation

I appreciate intelligence. I know that's almost like saying "I love my Mom" in Obvious World, but I feel as though I take it for granted that I'm surrounded by intelligent people. Now, don't get all cocky. It's not that great all the time.

I'm really happy today. I'm generally a bubbly, mildly obnoxious person under normal circumstances (with a side of sarcasm) but today I really feel happy down to my little toes. I think my mood must be contagious, because I'm in the library and there's a contented hum of chatter. It reminds me of the first evenings of early summer when the frogs start talking smack about (presumably) the other bitchy sorority frogs.

I very much enjoy Children's Literature. It was a little strange yesterday, though, because I was waiting in line behind a few people to claim a book to present to class.
Observe:
Girl 1: "I'd like to do Meet Felicity." (I bet you $5 she's elementary ed)
Girl 2: "Could I have Nancy Drew?" (Maybe Liberal studies)
Me: "I want Coraline."

So I read it, and I wasn't scared until the end. Then I was kinda freaked out and slept with my light on even though I have to pay my own electric bills. Oy.
Now I'm listing similarities and differences between Coraline and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Yes.

Labels for this post: dark, abstract, contentment