Details

I would just like to say that I Very Much Like Macs, and I plan to get one when I achieve financial independence. So, basically, in ten years or so.

Hello everyone.

Today I was walking down Brock Commons to practice with my accompanist, and I saw a girl I sat next to in one of my classes in the spring. I was maybe fifty feet behind her, but she was walking quickly and carrying lots of stuff, so I didn't bother her. I remembered her name, her year, that she was manic depressive, used to cut herself and sucked at math. I couldn't remember her boyfriend's name, but I remember that he was working on a project for abnormal psychology about the emergence and cause of paranoid schizophrenia, to help diagnose his mother.

I think maybe something is wrong with me. Why should I remember such gruesome details? Is it shock, or do people just inherently want evil things to happen to other people and instinctively focus on the negative?

I'm a nice person. I swear.

How cute is this bracelet?? It's Betsey Johnson. Of course.

Labels for this post: Mac, gruesome, Betsey

Titles

I like titles. In fact, I've thought of several good titles for my book.

If I ever write a book.

And therein lies the problem: I can think of witty phrases that can suffice for titles, but where is the content when you wipe away the wit? I know for sure that if/when I write a book, it'll be a collection of essays and not a continuous story. Unless it's a children's story, and then I'm not really sure what's going to happen. Maybe I would have a better idea if I could draw with my eyes open.

Regardless, I very much want to write a book someday. Even if I'm too young to have worldly experience or cultural competence. Even if I really have no idea how I define love. Even if I can't tell you the barest definition of quantum mechanics.

Possible titles:

You Eat Underwear (and other funny things that have happened to Jenni Schweitzer)

and

The Diary of a Got Away Girl

[all of these are mine, so don't even think about taking them]

I'll let you know.

Labels for this post: brief, titles, uncertainty

Steady

Everything has felt pretty steady to me for several weeks, and I like it. The leaves are steadily changing, the weather is steadily getting colder, I'm steadily improving in my writing and my weirdly stylish clothes. Now if I can just figure out how to be warm and wear dresses, I can deal with the cold. But not the rain. Not ever the rain.

By the way, I saw "Where the Wild Things Are". It's definitely good, and I would recommend seeing it, but it didn't change my life or make me cry. That's something I kind-of pride myself on as a woman: the tendency not to be upset by some stereotypical romantic comedy's (usually neither funny nor romantic) contrived heartwrenching moment. I'll put up with watching them, but I feel bad for not having the correct response.

But I cried like twice watching "Up".

Labels for this post: passage, warmth, Up

Writing Mode

I'm in writing mode right now. Prepare to be annoyed.

Every time there's a new Glamour, I almost immediately buy it. Except for the one with Taylor Swift on it. I don't dislike her, I just don't think I wanted that issue. It had lots of pants in it.

The newest issue has Scarlett Johannsen on the cover, and of course she looks gorgeous, but furthermore, this is the November issue, where they list all sorts of beautiful and amazing clothes. Even more so than usual. This issue is particularly amazing because it's centered on curvy, beautiful women. It's so empowering. To my delight, I discovered one of the best passages I've ever read. Ever.

[From Glamour] 'Sounds nuts, but when you hit a certain age, should you...settle? 89% said NO.

"Marrying someone you aren't crazy about just to secure the financial and domestic conveniences of wedlock is as stale and trite as day-old Doritos. Settling represents a failure of both imagination and confidence. It marks an essential disregard for others and for ourselves: for the capacity to love, to give, to inspire. It's difficult enough to make a marriage last. If we cannot so much as drum up enthusiasm in the beginning - if we lack even the memory of a full-blooded passion to sustain us through times of trial - then we are frail indeed. By settling, we exploit others, and we impoverish ourselves." -Cristina Nehring

That is girl power.

Labels for this post: satisfied, refusal, independence

Duple-faced

I am tired of two-faced people. Really. I think there's a special place in Hell for people who try to start nasty rumors for absolutely no purpose. Fortunately, I managed to stop one from escaping just yet, but I don't think it's going to because it's utterly absurd. I feel like starting a nasty one in return, but that might be considered a truth rather than a rumor. Also, I hear that karma isn't interested in that sort of thing, and I'd like to make a good impression.

Let's move on.

I'm trying to write an essay about love. It's insanely hard. I've never had so much trouble penning something I so desperately want to figure out and understand. I'm trying to put love in my own words: what I think it means, what it contains, and what it doesn't. I'm not making that much headway, but I suspect there are countless books written about this and the authors STILL don't know what's up. I can write about shoes, dresses, makeup, no problem. No glistening. Romance is a little tricky, but I think I've got it down. And I can write about sex, though I choose not to. It's love that's really tricky, and it makes me want to send apologies to anyone to whom I've claimed I loved. I'm not really sure what that entails for me, but I'm not really stressing it. I just want to write it without writing a huge amount and making readers sift for the point. I hate that as a reader.

Mark your calendars for "Where the Wild Things Are". Please. You'll thank me later.

Labels for this post: rumors, blocks, declarations